My Midi-Life Crisis

Yes, you read the title correctly, I am going to talk about my 'midi-life' crisis. I have drafted this post a zillion times but now I feel it's time to publish it.

If you are a regular reader you might have noticed I have been not been posting a regularly as usual and here is why.....

I didn't even know a 'midi-life' crisis was a thing until recently (good old google). I recently became single and moved into my own place. Before moving out I had all sorts of weird feelings and thoughts, some which have consumed my mind for days, or some just in passing - Am I on the right track? Am I where I want to be in life at almost 30 years old? Do I want kids after the heartache of miscarriages and an ectopic pregnancy? Do I want to get married? Who will want to marry me? Do I want to see more of the world? Do I know who I am? I could go on.....

A midi-life crisis has been described as an early mid-life crisis where some people evaluate their lives and panic. At any stage in your life you can have the above thoughts but turning 30 for some people can be a massive thing, remember Rachel on Friends, oh and Joey!

I am 29, I am not yet 30, but the thought of turning 30 scares the sh*t out of me. I am not married, I have no children and I don't own my own home, in fact I don't own much, but is that really the be all and end all of life? I'm not sure. Why aren't I sure? Because I have never got to know ME properly and what I want.

Image result for turning 30


I have floated through my life not knowing where I was heading, what I was feeling and just going with the flow, which was fun at times and sometimes not so fun, but now I want to take control of my direction and start getting to know what I want.

When I first moved into my new place, I had a complete meltdown about it, I drank far too much wine, I instantly decided I hated my new flat, I cried a lot, I laughed a lot, I had good days and bad, but I am slowly starting to look forward to the future.

I have never properly lived on my own so it's quite a daunting experience, but you know what, it's not as bad as it first seemed. I've not moved a million miles away from where I used to live, I'm close to work and I have some absolutely amazing friends and family close by to support me (I am especially talking about you Soph, Kieran, Jo, Maria, Anita and Adam - I know you will read this at some point).

So now it begins.....getting to know myself properly and trying to look after myself, which is easier said than done but I am going to give it a bloody good go! And possibly one day meet someone who makes everything fall into place.

How will it pan out? I'm not sure, but you know I will be telling you about it. So, I will be back to writing for you all and sharing my life experiences but just bare with me, it may not be as regular as usual but I am still here.

CONVERSATION

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